Re- Digging the Wells

This journey to Kansas is proving to be quite an adventure and honestly not one that neither my flesh nor my soul is presently enjoying but my spirit man is proving to be quite valiant.  If you recall from an earlier writing (Joy Fears –Dec 24, 2010) the Lord spoke of my having an area of fear and since that time I have come to see that I have several areas of deep rooted fear. One in particular, is in believing that God really desires to cause the latter years of my life to be the best years of my life. Putting it in those terms is my way of not disclosing what He has truly said that He wants to bring and do for me. To be very open I struggled recently even repeating something back to God that He wanted me to say not that I refused to say it out of rebellion it was more out of “FEAR” that it just could not possibly be true. I suppose that at that moment it would appear that my actions were like that as Zechariah when the Lord told him that he and Elizabeth would soon have a son but Jesus was surely interceding for me and God’s response to my present behavior was a scripture reminding me that what was impossible with man was not impossible with Him (Mark 10:27). So, I graciously took on the mind of Mary and the promise is now as a babe in the womb of my heart and awaits its manifestation according to God’s timing.  Now you would think that with this taking place that I would have been off running to share my good news as Mary did…BUT…oh NO…this occurrence was used of God to draw my attention to something that God wanted to reveal that has taken place in my heart over the years.

I heard the words “unclog” the wells of your salvation. As I waited upon the Lord for further clarification He reminded me of the time when Isaac had to re-dig the wells of his father, Abraham, after they had been filled up with dirt by the Philistines.  In this analogy the Lord spoke and said that over the years I have allowed frustrations, difficulties, hurts, disappointments, deferred hope, and more to subtly fill up areas of my heart and they in fact were the cause of my struggle with doubt and unbelief when it comes to “me” (how often I have even said to God that He answers my prayers for others but somehow the personal ones for me seem to not get any results-now I see why).  This was the root of why I struggled to repeat that which the Lord wanted me to believe earlier because it clearly seemed too wonderful for me. I was willing to settle for living the remainder of my life serving the Lord and delighting in bringing Him pleasure. This sounds all well and good yet here I was denying God an opportunity to be pleased by doing something pleasurable for me. I was reminded of how during the early years of my salvation there was nothing that God would say or tell me to do that I wouldn’t hesitate to do or say. I devoured His word during that time for hours and I loved spending hours reading of the lives of such saints as William Seymour, Kathryn Kuhlman, John G. Lake, and my favorite was Smith Wigglesworth.  I would pray for hours and ask God to let me do great things like these guys and once I even pulled an Ezekiel (I will not say which one) but it worked.  God’s word was girl…unclog your wells of salvation for these are the things that fueled your faith. You believed me for anything no matter what anyone would say or think. Go back to your wells and remove those things that are hindering you…return and drink again from those writings and pump those wells. So, I obeyed and decided to go and visit my favorite, Mr. Wigglesworth, and what’s the first thing that I find in the first chapter of one of his books….Mark 10:27, for with man it is impossible but not with God, for with God all things are possible. Not only am I unclogging my wells but I am anticipating a visit from my Jesus who will come sit at my well and ask me for a drink of water and when He does I will oblige as well as receive from Him….

“That which seems impossible and too wonderful for me to believe”