Joy Fears? The CHRISTmas Story

Have you ever felt like you were a part of a divine set-up by God? Well, recently, I was. One word can describe the reason that I so enjoy this particular holiday, CHRISTmas, and the word is "Giving." I taught my children from the very beginning that they received all of their gifts and toys because we loved them.  It was to teach them that God gave to us His only begotten Son and it was not based on whether or not I or they had been good...it was because He loved us that He "gave"....so every year something miraculous would occur and in spite of our circumstances we would be able to give to our children as a show of our love for them. Giving to me goes much deeper than the CHRISTmas holiday...I have chosen to live a life of giving  based on the truth that God "loves" a cheerful giver...so I am not one who gives in order to GET a blessing...I give BECAUSE -God gave and it speaks of love....that too is another post. Anyway, here's the story.
Always at this time of the year I love to find someone in particular to give too. Now living in Kansas, I was clueless as to whom I could be a blessing too, so I asked my daughter to find me a family with a child on the Nightwatch who I could bless. It was now day 2 and so far she had not given me anyone and I was getting a little anxious because I wanted to shop for them before everything would get away and I also wanted to avoid the crowds.  One day while waiting I decided to spend some time in the Prayer Room. I have been struggling whenever I have gone because I am a very lively worshipper. I really enjoy Daddy and I let Him know it..but this is a new garden for me and for some idiotic reason I have tried to become like everyone else and be quiet (it's not working-I have to be who I am)...anyway, while I am attempting to enter into a place of quiet worship and bible reading I become troubled by an issue that the Lord is touching.  The issue is believing that He has good things ahead for me, hearing the Lord say things like your dark days have passed that He really wants me to be happy and receive his "JOY," personally, I have a problem with that because I feel much closer to God when I am struggling and I fear blessings when it comes to ME as if it should not happen for me but for others ( a little kimono opening); strange how you can be in a place for so long and it becomes so familiar til when it is time for change you resist it out of fear.

In the midst of my personal struggle with this "JOY" issue I suddenly hear the Lord say "write a check" and give it to the young lady sitting about 3 chairs to my left in the row ahead of me. He even gave me the total. I think to myself, wait...if I write her a check I want be able to do anything for one of the Nightwatch children. But I can't shake this urgency to write the check, so I grab my phone and send Ariel a text telling her to give me the information as soon as possible because I have to "give" something now. That if I did not hear back from her I would have to do it for someone else.  I could not shake this urgency so I eased down a couple of chairs and handed the young lady a note asking for her name. She reads the note turns around and shows me the paper and she has written "JOY"...that's right JOY...I say to her...give me your full name...she then writes "JOY FEARS"....those of you who know me probably think that I had a complete hallelujah, jump up and down, shouting fit....but hold your horses....I was too stunned.  I bowed my head...wrote the check and passed it to her...she opened it up and turned and gave me the warmest, most thankful smile, put it away and returned to prayer. I, in return, sat still in awe, stunned, shocked, and knew that I had been divinely set-up by God. He went to the core of one of my struggles....I fear(ed) His "JOY" and that which He has for me and He wanted to expose it in an undeniable way.  I then sensed that my "GIVING" / planting into the life of Joy Fears was a prophetic act somehow on behalf of both my life and hers. Not sure what her issues may entail but I know that if the Lord used her to bless me and touch my core...He has something in store for her too.....

How great is our God...sing with me How great...how great is our God.

Thank you Daddy for "giving"